Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!





Show your support for what this community means to you:


Choose a Donation Amount
Username (required for credit)



Welcome to the Hardcore Husky Forums. Take a look around and join the community. Have a topic? Join us and start a thread.

TBS Blahg 1/22 - Advanced Hindsight Edition

When I was not busy getting texts about how a bunch of fucking traitors rocked it in Beverly Hills last night, I've been working the phones and my sources to bring you some information I think you'll find really fucking interesting and definitely don't already know.

I don't have a lot of time, so let's get right into it because tonight I have to eat 'til I shit myself and argue about whether Whataburger is better than In-n-Out with a bunch of fat loser fucks on the internet.

--Olive Garden Central, TX. LB RB Mo'Lasses Warren (4 Jars of Molasses): I have a friend well placed at Tejas who recently caught Mo'L at UT-Stadium (or whatever it's called; I usually like to say the names of the stadiums to show how much I fucking know about the campus, but in this case I forget) on his visit. This picture is secret, but my inside sources tell me he was having a great time... which is unusual, but worth mentioning.

image

Despite what this photo looks like, and even though last week my hindsight meter was telling me it looked like it was slipping away—hey, I gave you the best information I had at the time, but the reality is I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and was just looking at twitter and getting scared—this week He's a LOCK for UW. BUT THAT'S JUST THIS WEEK SO DON'T GET EXCITED. It might not even be true on Sunday. BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW HE'S A LOCK. Something could change, sometimes it does, but not always.

The inside money is on Texas here, but stranger things have happened and I'm hearing that Washington is the best bet to get this slow linebacker top rated RB to sign. I'm hearing he's a combination between Maurice Shaw Eric Dickerson and a large topiary in the shape of a football player being passed by traffic so it looks like he's moving, but he actually can't Marshawn Lynch.

--Olive Garden Central, TX. WR Javier Castille (3 Spanish Colonialisms): Well placed sources tell me that although he is not particularly great at dressing (or avoiding looking like a douche), he does fit the bill of the type of perimeter player Coach Pete likes: small and unremarkable. I'm sure we care about him and aren't just recruiting his shitty ass to suck up to Warren (next to whom, by the by, he looks like a midget).

--Somewhere in Canada, WA. DE Bryce "The Stork" Sterk (10 unheralded white people hard-hat stars): So, at first I was hearing this wasn't a commitable offer that Coach Pete gave him in person, but now I'm hearing otherwise. We don't know much about him, but he was found wandering the Canadian forests in a tribe of bears and we have to assume he's got Canadian bear blood flowing through his veins at this point. He's in for a visit this weekend.

--Shit Ass San Diego Suburb, CA. CB Dechaun Holiday (4 Imploding stars): Pete seems to be afraid to go head to head with the big boys and doesn't want to recruit Escondido Los Angeles, because he's scared by blacks, gunshots and rap music. Word is Petersen thanks God every morning for Bryce Sterk.

--Shit Ass Tacoma Suburb, WA. DE Benning Potato'e (1 potatoe, 2 potatoe, 3 potatoe, 4): I'm hearing that he loves the SEC and won't really even consider UW. You can't blame Sark for that, some people just want to get away from home. He was never coming here anyway. Why is this kid not on twitter? This one is hard to read. Oh, shit. Pete closed him. He was actually going to go to UW no matter who was there.

--Shit Ass Tacoma Suburban High School That Has All The Talent, But Never Fucking Wins Shit, WA. Coach Dave Miller: Interesting news this week as Miller claims to develop players and says that's the reason why he's had so many D-I guys. My sources are saying it might be more complicated than that.

--Kikaha, HI. DE "Laffy" Tafua (3 Danny Shelton Hawai'ian Native Stars): I know I have said he is a lock to UW, but that's before things changed.

--Shitty Everett, WA. QB "Scabby" Eason (Jake Heaps POY in the world, a billion stars): Now, this is where things are going to get controversial: Jonathan Smith actually molested him. Just what I'm hearing. Did it in the whole 'Babushka' get up, too. Not pretty. Now Pete is calling him and he won't answer, and word is we're looking at the death penalty. Again, just what I'm hearing. Scabby's family set everything up for Scabby to commit to Coach Pete last summer, but during camp Pete left known molester Smith in a room alone with Young Scabby. You just don't do that and the family wants answers for why Matt Fink was not similarly molested. It's also possible Smith was in the Babushka scarf and Pete didn't recognize him as he slipped past him, but either way, it's on Pete. It scarred the family so bad, they now think Mark Richt is a good coach.

--Place that is certainly not Bellevue because the kid is black and goes to Bellevue, WA. WR Tyson Chicken (3 nugs): Hearing that this explosive giant may get an offer or he may not. Stay tuned. This one's hard to call right now, because it hasn't already happened—so we've got to say he may get an offer or he may not. However, after it happens and Lars tweets about it, we will let you know exactly what happened.

That's it for now. I would type more, but there's a really intense thread on Breitbart.com and the box of Marie Callendar's I just put in the microwave just exploded (I just put the whole box in, then take it out when the pie explodes on the inside and eat it with my hand forming a scoop), but I'll be back as soon as something happens to equivocate about the future and inaccurately represent the past.
doogvillePassionclaychaRoadDawg55DooglesMelloDawgGrundleStiltzkinMuttzenCitrus4TroogsLoneStarDawgbiak1kh83Fecal_MatterSonnyShackelfordMeekAZDuckCokeGreaterThanPepsiGladstoneSarkinghamhaieSwayeRaccoonHarryAlCzervikMrsPetersenRapeculturedawgScroteDawgDHDSpoonieLuvPurpleBazeinsinceredawgdncTierbsHsotBoobsFremontTrollDerekJohnsonEsophagealFecesDennis_DeYoung
«1

Comments

  • doogvilledoogville Posts: 620
    250 Answers 500 Awesomes 500 Up Votes 500 Comments
    why i pay $10.95
    Dennis_DeYoungTierbsHsotBoobs
  • TequillaTequilla Posts: 13,059
    Swaye's Wigwam 10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Awesomes
    Pot Pie Exploding in the Microwave = Cocaine's a helluva drug
    Dennis_DeYoungSonnyShackelfordTierbsHsotBoobs
  • DooglesDoogles Posts: 6,359
    Swaye's Wigwam 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Awesomes
    DeYoung. I'll get drunk with you any day.
    Dennis_DeYoungSwayeTierbsHsotBoobs
  • biak1biak1 Posts: 1,520
    250 Answers 500 Awesomes 1000 Comments 500 Up Votes
    Dennis you are quickly moving up the ranks of favorite poasters.
    Dennis_DeYoungSwayeRaccoonHarryTierbsHsotBoobs
  • kh83kh83 Posts: 543
    250 Answers 500 Up Votes 500 Comments 250 Awesomes
    Doogles said:

    DeYoung. I'll get drunk with you everyday.

    Ftfy

    Dennis_DeYoungDooglesTierbsHsotBoobs
  • RaccoonHarryRaccoonHarry Posts: 2,149
    250 Answers 500 Awesomes 1000 Comments 500 Up Votes
    And I used to think Race was the clever one...
    Dennis_DeYoungTierbsHsotBoobsIce_Holmvik
  • RoadDawg55RoadDawg55 Posts: 18,598
    Standard Supporter 10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Awesomes
    edited January 2015
    I'm thinking Dennis drops acid before these blahgs. I love them, but how the fuck do you come up with this shit?
    DooglesDennis_DeYoungDeepSeaZMrsPetersenTierbsHsotBoobsIce_Holmvik
  • DooglesDoogles Posts: 6,359
    Swaye's Wigwam 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Awesomes

    I'm thinking Dennis drops aid before these blahgs. I love them, but how the fuck do you come up with this shit?

    It's brilliant, but definitely not sober.
    Dennis_DeYoung
  • Outstanding post. Only negative was not knowing Texas' stadium is named for the greatest coach to ever roam UW's sideline.

    image
    Dennis_DeYoungFremontTroll
  • Outstanding post. Only negative was not knowing Texas' stadium is named for the greatest coach to ever roam UW's sideline.

    image

    image
    RavennaDawgSwaye
  • woops. I missed the joke.

    I am glad you could Show me the way.
    Dennis_DeYoung
  • woops. I missed the joke.

    I am glad you could Show me the way.

    Slick.
  • Ice_HolmvikIce_Holmvik Posts: 1,104
    Standard Supporter 250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Awesomes

    When I was not busy getting texts about how a bunch of fucking traitors rocked it in Beverly Hills last night, I've been working the phones and my sources to bring you some information I think you'll find really fucking interesting and definitely don't already know.

    I don't have a lot of time, so let's get right into it because tonight I have to eat 'til I shit myself and argue about whether Whataburger is better than In-n-Out with a bunch of fat loser fucks on the internet.

    --Olive Garden Central, TX. LB RB Mo'Lasses Warren (4 Jars of Molasses): I have a friend well placed at Tejas who recently caught Mo'L at UT-Stadium (or whatever it's called; I usually like to say the names of the stadiums to show how much I fucking know about the campus, but in this case I forget) on his visit. This picture is secret, but my inside sources tell me he was having a great time... which is unusual, but worth mentioning.

    image

    Despite what this photo looks like, and even though last week my hindsight meter was telling me it looked like it was slipping away—hey, I gave you the best information I had at the time, but the reality is I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and was just looking at twitter and getting scared—this week He's a LOCK for UW. BUT THAT'S JUST THIS WEEK SO DON'T GET EXCITED. It might not even be true on Sunday. BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW HE'S A LOCK. Something could change, sometimes it does, but not always.

    The inside money is on Texas here, but stranger things have happened and I'm hearing that Washington is the best bet to get this slow linebacker top rated RB to sign. I'm hearing he's a combination between Maurice Shaw Eric Dickerson and a large topiary in the shape of a football player being passed by traffic so it looks like he's moving, but he actually can't Marshawn Lynch.

    --Olive Garden Central, TX. WR Javier Castille (3 Spanish Colonialisms): Well placed sources tell me that although he is not particularly great at dressing (or avoiding looking like a douche), he does fit the bill of the type of perimeter player Coach Pete likes: small and unremarkable. I'm sure we care about him and aren't just recruiting his shitty ass to suck up to Warren (next to whom, by the by, he looks like a midget).

    --Somewhere in Canada, WA. DE Bryce "The Stork" Sterk (10 unheralded white people hard-hat stars): So, at first I was hearing this wasn't a commitable offer that Coach Pete gave him in person, but now I'm hearing otherwise. We don't know much about him, but he was found wandering the Canadian forests in a tribe of bears and we have to assume he's got Canadian bear blood flowing through his veins at this point. He's in for a visit this weekend.

    --Shit Ass San Diego Suburb, CA. CB Dechaun Holiday (4 Imploding stars): Pete seems to be afraid to go head to head with the big boys and doesn't want to recruit Escondido Los Angeles, because he's scared by blacks, gunshots and rap music. Word is Petersen thanks God every morning for Bryce Sterk.

    --Shit Ass Tacoma Suburb, WA. DE Benning Potato'e (1 potatoe, 2 potatoe, 3 potatoe, 4): I'm hearing that he loves the SEC and won't really even consider UW. You can't blame Sark for that, some people just want to get away from home. He was never coming here anyway. Why is this kid not on twitter? This one is hard to read. Oh, shit. Pete closed him. He was actually going to go to UW no matter who was there.

    --Shit Ass Tacoma Suburban High School That Has All The Talent, But Never Fucking Wins Shit, WA. Coach Dave Miller: Interesting news this week as Miller claims to develop players and says that's the reason why he's had so many D-I guys. My sources are saying it might be more complicated than that.

    --Kikaha, HI. DE "Laffy" Tafua (3 Danny Shelton Hawai'ian Native Stars): I know I have said he is a lock to UW, but that's before things changed.

    --Shitty Everett, WA. QB "Scabby" Eason (Jake Heaps POY in the world, a billion stars): Now, this is where things are going to get controversial: Jonathan Smith actually molested him. Just what I'm hearing. Did it in the whole 'Babushka' get up, too. Not pretty. Now Pete is calling him and he won't answer, and word is we're looking at the death penalty. Again, just what I'm hearing. Scabby's family set everything up for Scabby to commit to Coach Pete last summer, but during camp Pete left known molester Smith in a room alone with Young Scabby. You just don't do that and the family wants answers for why Matt Fink was not similarly molested. It's also possible Smith was in the Babushka scarf and Pete didn't recognize him as he slipped past him, but either way, it's on Pete. It scarred the family so bad, they now think Mark Richt is a good coach.

    --Place that is certainly not Bellevue because the kid is black and goes to Bellevue, WA. WR Tyson Chicken (3 nugs): Hearing that this explosive giant may get an offer or he may not. Stay tuned. This one's hard to call right now, because it hasn't already happened—so we've got to say he may get an offer or he may not. However, after it happens and Lars tweets about it, we will let you know exactly what happened.

    That's it for now. I would type more, but there's a really intense thread on Breitbart.com and the box of Marie Callendar's I just put in the microwave just exploded (I just put the whole box in, then take it out when the pie explodes on the inside and eat it with my hand forming a scoop), but I'll be back as soon as something happens to equivocate about the future and inaccurately represent the past.

    Your shit from back in the day is straight fucking on fire. The Chris Warren molasses post might be the best thing ever posted here.
    TierbsHsotBoobsRhythmicSlappingDawgHUSKYFANATICGladstoneDennis_DeYoungpurpledoogfan
  • dncdnc Posts: 30,556
    Standard Supporter 25000 Comments 250 Answers Fucktard of the Week Award

    Wrong bored

    ybfe
    TierbsHsotBoobsRhythmicSlappingDawgFremontTrollPurpleBaze
  • Dennis_DeYoungDennis_DeYoung Posts: 12,265
    Swaye's Wigwam 10000 Comments 250 Answers Fucktard of the Week Award
    This was before there was a TBS bored.
    dncWeakarmCobra
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Posts: 38,175
    Swaye's Wigwam 25000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary

    This was before there was a TBS bored.

    LEAVE
    PurpleBazeDennis_DeYoungGladstoneMikeDamone
Sign In or Register to comment.