I'm sitting in my swanky Fleenor seat at the game Saturday when to my right appears a platinum trashy blonde with her hipster duechbag boyfriend about to sit on my right side.
She takes off her ASU hoodie to reveal a tat sleeve on her right arm clearly visible because she is wearing a white wife beater and black yoga pants and has the body to pull it off. I think of all the stories here about ASU co eds. Her boyfriend is a dueche bag if I didn't mention that. Even at my advanced age I could have pounded him.
Then they started rooting hard for Penn State. And she was drunk at 2 in the afternoon.
So anyway the game begins and the torture chamber of watching Browning is usually bad enough but adding in our innovative 3rd down defense and I'm thinking about getting out of there at halftime.
I did notice that the blonde knew football and could talk intelligently about it. I was slightly aroused which at my age is common.
We? make the interception and as we're watching the replay she says he's out. At that point I say, his back foot was dragging before the other one hit. She turned to me and said, you're right, his back foot dragged. Sparks were flying now.
Then Browning gets hit late and she yells - well I guess they needed the help. I looked at her and said "hell yes we need the help have you been watching us?" Then I yelled - hit him again harder!
She laughed and at that point I could have swept her back to my room leaving her boyfriend in tears.
But I'm not you so I didn't. Keep giving us the vicarious life we deserve and Happy New Year noble savage. May the buffalo come to your tribe this summer.